Foreplay

We begin our 40 or so minute trip to the plasma center.  My appointment was at 11:30, and Husband's was at noon.  We arrived about 11:15 so we went next door to Burger King (where you have to be buzzed into the bathroom, if that gives you any idea the sort of area we're in) and grabbed a few buck doubles.  You're suppose to eat a good meal before you donate, but after getting the kids ready and loaded and over to Grandma's we didn't really have time.
We eat our burgers in the parking lot of the plasma center, and then walk through the doors at 11:25.  We try to play it cool, like we've done this before.  Straight up to the front desk where there are two sign in sheets, one for returning clients and one for new clients.  We sign in on the new client form and follow the written request on the sheet to "Please take a Do Not Donate placard."
The Do Not Donate placard has a variety of circumstances listed, and if you have ever participated in said circumstances then you are not allowed to donate plasma.  Some of these circumstances include:
If you are a male, and have had sex with another male.  Nope
If you are a female, and you have had sex with a male that has had sex with another male.  Hmm...not that I know of...
If you have ever taken money for sex.  Does it count if you take money from your husband for sex?  Hopefully not. We'll just go with no on that one too.
If you have ever used intravenous drugs.  Nope there too.
Any way, you get the idea.
My name is called, and I present my government issued photo ID with current address and my social security card.  I get my picture taken for my file, and two employees take me into the physical room.  They check my eyes (for equal pupils), ears (blown ear drums?), nose (perforated septum), teeth (rot from meth use), spleen, blood pressure, pulse, etc.  Then we document every scar, piercing, tattoo, and birthmark I have.  My list takes up the entire space provided.  You're also asked about health/injury history and all that good stuff.  Then you get a cup (a plastic drinking cup) that you get to take from the physical room, through the lobby, into the bathroom, pee in it, find a place to balance it while you try to wash your hands without spilling your wee, pick it up and walk it back through the lobby (where everyone waits), and back into the physical room where they test your sugar levels and probably some other stuff.
Next, nope not ready to donate yet, you have to go through the regular screening process that you go through every time you donate.  This only takes about ten minutes or so.  You get your blood pressure taken, temp taken, your finger stuck to test your hemocrit and protein levels, and asked another series of questions.  You have to bring the do not donate placard in, read one of the statements out loud, and then on the other side there are two boxes with the words YES and NO in them.  The interviewer asks you the questions and you have to say and point to your answer.  You're asked about the circumstances on the placard, and then you're asked another series of questions about spending time in different countries, small pox vaccines, if you have or have lived with someone that has Hepatitis, become pregnant or had a pregnancy terminated in the last six months, donated blood or lost more than a pint of blood within the last 16 weeks, donated plasma some where else in the last week, lived in various African countries, been to various European countries, and some other stuff that I can't remember.  Then if you pass all of your tests and you answer all of your questions correctly you're cleared to donate.  You sign your donation slip (I think saying that you are doing this voluntarily and no one is making you do it) and get your name sticker. Make sure to keep your name sticker in a safe place because that is what your trade for your payment.  Almost there.
Then we left the screening room.  Next, (I can't remember where it fit in on the first visit, but I think it was right here) you put your fingers under an ultraviolet light to check for UV dye from any other plasma places.  They each have a finger that they put dye on.  I passed the UV test, and got my own special finger dye on the correct finger.  Then, blah, they weigh you.  The amount of plasma you donate is based on your weight, and you have to be at least 110 pounds.  Check.  I think I've been at least 110 pounds since 6th grade. 
Finally, you're led down a hallway to your bed.